whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My dad is sitting where you rode me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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