I think I won the penis lottery.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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