brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
