I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
