Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
40s are totally the cure
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
