Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
