no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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