And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
