sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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