Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
