Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
