he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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