I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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