When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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