STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
