She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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