okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
