well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
