Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
