I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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