i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
