thus making me awesome and them whores
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
