Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
