I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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