That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
