You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
