just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
