so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
