True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
