Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
