so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
