I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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