i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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