kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
