I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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