is wine microwaveable?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
