You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
