I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
