he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
