ugly people sure do ruin things
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
