I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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