Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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