I looked at my own cervix.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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