somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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