I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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