i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
