You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
