So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
