Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
It's rum buckets o'clock
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
