As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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