You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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