So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
