I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
