you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
